Recognizing An Abusive Relationship

In spite of what many women may believe, abuse of any kind in a relationship isn’t acceptable. It’s NOT normal and doesn’t mean love. If you’re in a relationship where your partner goes off on tangents because you’ve set the dinner table incorrectly, he’s probably abusive. There are some things that you need to understand about what constitutes abuse and what doesn’t.

For one thing, you should let your feelings guide you in certain instances. If you’re afraid all the time and you walk on eggshells around your partner for fear of setting him off, you’re probably in an abusive relationship. No one should ever have to live that way and certainly not with someone that’s supposed to love them. On the other hand, if your feelings are telling you that you’re a horrible wife or girlfriend and you DESERVE the various punishments that come your way for imagined wrongs, then you DON’T need to listen to yourself. You need to seek some help for those feelings of worthlessness.

Abuse comes in many forms and it’s important to recognize them. Obviously, if your partner is hitting you, it’s abuse. However, sometimes it’s not quite cut and dried. Mental and verbal abuse can be just as serious. The scars may not be physically visible but they’re in places that can affect you throughout your entire life. For example, being told over and over again how worthless you are and how you can’t do anything right may not SEEM like a huge deal until you realize that you’re starting to believe this about yourself.

Other men will do everything they can to convince their partners that if they leave, the worse things they ever feared would happen to them will, indeed, come to pass. Yes, these abusers don’t leave physical marks, but they ARE just as dangerous to the quality of your life as the ones that lash out with their fists or weapons.

Men that abuse the women they proclaim to love are, simply put, monsters. They’re weak, petty, insecure, cowardly little creatures that feel the only way they can keep a woman with them is through a show of force. If they can control every move these women make, then they’ll never be alone because the women are too terrified to leave. Now, isn’t that a wonderful way to conduct a relationship? These men truly believe that they can FORCE women into loving them. Well, fear and love aren’t the same.
There are a few ground rules that you should remember in order to keep yourself out of abusive relationships. First, NO ONE has the right to beat you into submission. You should never feel afraid of the one who is supposed love you, and if you are, it’s time to leave and figure out why. An abusive relationship is NOT better than being alone. If you’re alone, you’ve got a better chance of leading a quality life, whereas, with an abuser, you’ll never have that.

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Just remember that abuse is NOT love and that it never will be. Abuse is about control, power, and cruelty. It’s also about danger. Be brave and get out if you’re in a relationship like this. There ARE people that will help and protect you while you build a new life.

Whats Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential.  A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship.  Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple.  This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship. 

The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple's complaints about the relationship.  While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation.  It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. 

While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process.  Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach.  Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship.  Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area.  In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement. 

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation.  They may come into the couple's lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts.  This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple's self assessment of their relationship is accurate.  The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception.  While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period.  If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts. 

Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas.  The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed.  These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise.  These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship.  While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try. 

Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship.  The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship.  The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship.  If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship.  The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship. 
Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations.  It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems.  If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.
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Use Boyfriend Girlfriend Quizzes For Fun Not Advice

Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes can be fun to take. You can find them in many different magazines aimed at women, and all over the Internet. There will be a set of questions that can vary from asking about your favorite thing to do together, to how much you know about your boyfriend’s past girlfriends. But boyfriend girlfriend quizzes are really just mean to be fun, not some sort of couple therapy. So have fun with them!

Some are designed for you to take in which you’ll answer questions about your boyfriend only. Based on your answers about things like how often he says he loves you, or how often he takes you out, you’ll get an answer. Many of these quizzes are a bit tongue in cheek, and are designed just for fun. So if you get a bad answer, look closely at the quiz.

If the possible answers you could have selected are all a bit wild and exaggerated, then it’s more a joke quiz than something you could really just your relationship by. Very often, multiple choice quizzes are designed this way, with humorous or outrageous choices for you to choose between. These are clearly just for fun.

Some quizzes have you answering questions about what you think your boyfriend is thinking. While these can be fun too, realize that you can’t read minds. No matter what you think he might say or do, you can’t be sure. So don’t take these results too seriously.

Boyfriend girlfriend quizzes that want yes or no answers are more likely to attempt to give real advice. Judging by how many yes and no answers you give, the quiz will give you a quick assessment of your relationship.

These can be a little more accurate if the questions are reasonable ones. Just a quick read of the questions and the possible results should let you know if it’s meant to be humorous or they’re really trying to give relationship advice. Watch the tone of what they say if it’s difficult to tell.

Then there are those quizzes that are designed for you take together. Or that intend for you to ask your boyfriend questions. If your boyfriend thinks it sounds like a fun idea, then by all means enjoy it. But if he’s resistant to the idea of boyfriend girlfriend quizzes, don’t force the issue.

Even though you’re aware of the type of quiz it is and decide to do it just for fun, he might take it too seriously. There’s always the chance that with even the most tongue in cheek quiz, you’ll get a “bad” answer. And no matter how silly the questions or the possible answers, he might not understand that it’s just a joke and could take it as a criticism.

On the other hand, don’t take a quiz and then make too much of the answer yourself. No matter how serious they’re intended to be, boyfriend girlfriend quizzes can’t really accurately tell you anything you don’t already know!
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What A Good Quiz For A Relationship Can Reveal

Can a quiz for a relationship really tell you anything you don’t already know? The answer is often yes, but you have to make sure you’re taking a well designed quiz created by someone with some real credentials. Find one of those and there are some very interesting things you can learn about what’s in store for your relationship.

Overall compatibility.

Don’t feel like relying on your horoscope to guide you to your soul mate? A good quiz for a relationship may not be able to tell you where your soul mate is, but it can give you an idea whether or not the person you’re with now might be it. Quiz results can give you insight into important factors like compatibility of beliefs, habits, and long-term goals.

Healthy or not?

If you’ve ever been stuck in an unhealthy relationship that involved physical or psychological abuse, no doubt you never want to be in one again. The worst thing about these situations is that it’s often hard to see where things are headed until its too late.

That’s where a quiz for a relationship comes in. By asking the right questions, a relationship quiz can help you pick up on early warning signs that you and your partner may not only be incompatible, but may actually be in an unhealthy situation. 

Eternal love or dead end?

No matter how crazy you are about each other right now, you can never be 100% sure it will last. You can, however, get some idea whether when you have a good chance or you’re doomed to break up, though. Questions about how you envision the future with your partner and what kinds of plans you’ve made together can give you a fair amount of insight into this.

 
What problems are in store?

Yep, every relationship has some problems. Having an idea about what yours might be gives you a chance to head them off before they get too serious. A well designed quiz for a relationship uses questions that help you zero in on potential problems that could grow into something big.

The quiz does this by asking things like how you deal with your partner’s annoying habits, what causes of any moments of tension between you, and what emotions seem to characterize your relationship.

How others see you!

Even if there aren’t any problems between you, your relationship could still face pressure from outside forces. It might be due to difference in age, race, social status, or any number of things you overlook when you’re deeply in love. Unfortunately, your family and close friends may not overlook these things and constant criticism from them puts a strain on the relationship. You need to be aware of what social problems you might run into so you can discuss how you’re going to handle them.

A quiz for a relationship can tell you a lot about what you and your partner you have to look forward to in the near future. Just remember, though, no two relationships are the same, so no matter how accurate the test, be ready for a few surprises all the same.

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