Whispering sweet nothings at the right time can lead to passionate payoffs. Talking in bed have better communication and happier relationships.
If you have fallen into the habit of watching TV or reading silently in bed every night, try mixing things up. Conversation often precedes intimate sex.
Don’t just talk about the program on TV, the book you are reading, or the mundane things that have happened that day. Rekindle the passion with sexy pillow talk. Think back to the days when you cuddled together and whispered together. You told of your love, your secrets, your wishes, and your dreams. This intimacy was as important as the actual physical lovemaking.
Just as Cyrano de Bergerac wood Roxanne with his eloquent words about her beauty and charms, you can use language to seduce your partner. While not everyone is as gifted as Cyrano was, remember that what you say can be less important than how you say it. Expressing yourself in a tender way when you are in close contact with your spouse is quite seductive.
Also keep in mind that pillow talk doesn’t need to always lead to sex. It can be erotic or loving. Men and women alike like to hear how much they are loved and appreciated.
There are different types of love talk. Figure out which kind you and your lover are in order to match your language with how your partner will best respond.
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• Creative – These people have active imaginations. They enjoy unique and vividly described fantasies. They will be happy to play charades and spin exciting tales filled with promises about future love encounters.
• Romantics – More often women than men, the romantic blossoms on intimacy, shared feelings and dreams. They use the word “feel” rather than “think. They speak more of love than sex.
• Conservative – A conservative might feel uncomfortable talking about feelings, but they need security. You should do the talking reminding them of the wonderful times you have spent together. Reassure them that everything in the relationship is going well.
• Intellectual – The intellectual is stimulated by lively debate. They are often excited by banter and an exchange of opinions. Intellectuals are more often men than women. They want to hear they are loved for their bodies but like to believe that they are also appreciated by their quick minds.
Many people report that the most pleasurable part of pillow talk is hearing their own name or their partner’s pet name for them spoken. Keep in mind that if a person has a name like “honey” that he applies to all women, he needs to come up with a separate, special name for his wife.
Reassure and compliment your partner. When you tell your spouse things like “you’re funny,” it comes across especially strong when you are cuddled close. When your partner is feeling insecure about life in general, telling her “I find you as exciting as when we first met” can bolster her confidence about her entire life.
Don’t criticize your partner during pillow talk. Intimacy should allow you to share fear and anxieties and harping on any inadequacies will destroy that opportunity. Nobody likes to hear about their character flaws, bad habits or sexual problems, and you certainly don’t want to bring them up in this intimate setting.
Never fight or have troubling conversations in bed. Make your bed a safe place where you sleep and have pleasure. If you start to fight in bed, your partner can associate the feelings of being trapped and sabotaged which can diminish his or her willingness to spend relaxing time in bed.
Article 7 will be on "Physical Fitness Is Seductive" and will also conclude this series of articles on the "The Art of Seduction".
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