Lying To Each Other

Hello my valued readers. Todays article Lying To Each Other tell no lies;) How would our life look like if we did tell the truth all the time? I think maybe it would be easier not to cover up for lies because the truth will be obvious one day. If we are living parallel lifes and are lying to each other about it there will be a chance to forgivness when the truth are told. Dont be afraid to confess because its not always the end it can be a new beginning also. Its a question of how strong your relationship and love for each other are. Sometimes may hardship make you stronger and to instead living on a lie will surely make you weaker. Only you can make the right decision about these questions based on your own relationship. Reading the following article will perhaps help you.

Blessings

Dick Scott

Everyone tells a lie at some point in time during their lives. There’s no getting around it. Most likely, even George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, both known for their extreme honesty, probably lied on occasion. Of course, there’s no way of knowing how many times these men lied to their wives, but you can bet that since they were human, they did lie sometimes. When it comes to lying, it can be the thing that tears your relationship apart or it can be the thing that actually saves your relationship.

That may sound like an odd statement but it’s quite true. Yes, honesty is something that should be a part of all relationships, but that doesn’t mean that it’s ALWAYS the best policy. For instance, when you ask your husband or boyfriend if you look fat in an outfit and he tells you yes, chances are that there will be at the very least some hurt feelings. Depending on your mood, there may be a true blowout. So, you can see that if he had simply told you that you looked great, then both of you could have gone out and had a lovely evening. This is also known as “telling little white lies.” Their purpose is to keep from hurting someone’s feelings over something insignificant.

Many people are proud to be known as someone that will ALWAYS tell the absolute truth. In fact, these people will even WARN you ahead of time that if you don’t want to know the full truth, then you shouldn’t ask them any questions. That’s all well and good but, in the end, how many true friends do they actually have? Whether you like it or not, there are simply certain instances where it’s better to fib a bit than to really hurt someone by telling the brutal truth.

As with most things, though, there’s another side to this coin. Lying just for the sake of lying or keeping yourself out of trouble isn’t the best idea. This is especially true if there’s a very good chance that you’re going to be caught in your lie. Lying creates some of the worst trust issues that you’ll ever encounter in your life. If you’re in a relationship where your partner tends to lie to you, there may be other dishonest things that he does regarding you. Most likely, his lies are told because he’s trying to cover a secret affair. Of course, there are many other reasons that your partner may lie to you, but that’s typically number one on the list.

Many times, it’s difficult to know when a lie is appropriate or when it’s being used to cover up for some bad behavior. Obviously, the “bad” lies aren’t acceptable and should never be used. Instead, you should simply behave yourself or end the relationship. On the other hand, there are “white” lies that can save hurt feelings and the truth isn’t all that important anyway. It’s just up to you to figure out which is which.

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Keeping The Romance In The Relationship

Fridays article Keeping The Romance In The Relationship is relevant in todays high tech environment. Its a lot more that can distract us from eachother then before. I think one of the most important things to do is giving attention to eachother both mentally and physically. We all need confirmation from others and especially if we are in a romance or in a  relationship. This comes naturally most of the time  due to the fact that we are attracted to our partner. I do think its a good behaviour to turn of the phone once in a while at special romantic occasions to give ourselves and our lover full attention.

Best Wishes 

Dick Scott

With all of the hustle and bustle of the world today, even couples that truly love each other have some trouble finding time to keep the romance in their relationship. Career couples have to work even harder, it seems, to make time for each other. That’s why so many marriages and other romantic relationships tend to fail, even those that began so promising. Its not easy to be husband and wife these times.

If you’re in one of these hugely busy relationships, you may worry from time to time that you and your partner don’t have enough quality time together. Even if that’s true, there are ways that you can inject some of that lost romance back into your relationship. Believe it or not, none of them are costly or difficult. They’re simple and cheap, with some not costing anything at all.

Leaving little love notes for your significant other is something that couples have practiced for centuries. This doesn’t mean that you dash off an email or send off a one of those sexy, naughty ecards. It means that you take the time to write something loving, sweet, or erotic to your love on some pretty paper. Then, you add a slight spritz of your perfume to the paper and leave it somewhere that he’ll find it. This can be in the medicine cabinet of the bathroom so he’ll see it when he gets ready for work in the morning. If he has to travel for business, slip it in his luggage somewhere that he’ll find it when he checks into the hotel.

If you and your partner work in close proximity to each other, you may want to plan to meet for lunch at least once a week, or whenever it’s possible. This is a great way to just enjoy each other’s company outside of the norm. It also gives you something to look forward to that’s a little different.

Something else that you can use to spice things up a little is by taking a shower together a couple of times a week. Nothing can help a couple re-connect as much as taking turns soaping each other’s bodies and washing them. Your bodies get all slippery and that tends to spark some feelings all by itself. This can also help those really busy couples work in some spontaneous sex so that they don’t have to go for weeks at a time because they’re just too busy or too tired.

If you’ve got kids, pack them off to the grandparents a couple of nights a month; more, if the grandparents are willing. Being busy as well as parents can be very challenging, but if you’re willing to let a babysitter take over periodically, you can still be just a couple sometimes. If you happen to feel guilty about not missing your kids for a few hours a week, move past that. Keep in mind that when you’re happy, then you’ll be a much better parent. That trapped feeling doesn’t do anyone any good. So let yourself also be a person. You’ll be happier for it.

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Laughter Helps Relationships

I hope you are having a fantastic weekend and some Christmas holiday next week.  Todays article Laughter Helps Relationships is nothing to laugh about))) its a serious issue to be able to share laughter together as partners and also with friends. Somehow having the same type of humour brings people together and laughter open up our minds in a positive way. So relax enjoy and read todays article with a laughter;)

Best Wishes to you all!

Dick  Scott

One thing that people seem to forget in their relationships is the fact that you have to have a sense of humor. There are going to be plenty of times in your lives together that you are going to need to laugh to keep your relationship going strong. Of course, you are going to have to figure out when the appropriate times are to laugh and when it’s probably not such a good idea. After a few years of marriage, you shouldn’t have too much of a problem figuring out those times, though.

Everyone feels better when they laugh. After all, laughter is the best medicine. You just have to be able to find the humor in the moments that most people wouldn’t. If you get upset at every little aspect of your life that goes wrong, then you are going to end up being a very angry person when you get older and you will probably be alone to boot. If only you would have laughed a bit more, you would probably be a happily married individual with a loving family. Instead, you are sitting in a nursing home bitching about the taste of the pea soup again.

Everything that happens in your life can have a funny anecdote to it. You just have to look hard enough to find one. Your relationship with your partner is going to have moments where nothing seems to go right and everything is falling apart around you. Don’t give up and don’t give in to the anger that is building up inside you. Instead, you should find something to laugh about and get your partner to join in with you. Even if you have to sit down together and talk about funny things that have happened in your lives before you met each other.

Finding things to laugh about and enjoying the time you are sharing together will strengthen your relationship to the point that nothing can affect it. You won’t have to worry about being upset and saying things neither one of you actually means and you can do more things together. You can’t live your life in a bad mood. It’s been tried before, and those people are never fun to be around. You have to make things in your life better for both of you and laughing is the easiest way of accomplishing that.

When things have got you down and there seems like there is nowhere for you to turn, just remember that you have a partner that is there for you. The two of you can work through any obstacles that beset you and you should always remember to laugh. Nothing is better than having a person that will laugh with you rather than at you, and your partner should be that type of person. When it comes down to it, you have to be able to give your partner your attention and your love, but you should also remember to give them your sense of humor anytime it may be needed.

Thanx for reading;  share your joy and laughter today with someone that need it, remember to share, to care and that your smile can mean more then you know even to someone you dont know.

Dick Scott

Article 4-5 In a Series of Articles on Single Parent Dating Tips

Expect Resistance

You may dream that your kids fall in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend immediately.  But, unless they are very small, they are probably going to resist him or her.

That’s because they see your new love replacing their other parent.

Be patient with your kids.  This is hard for them.

With younger children (under 10), assure them that you are not replacing their other parent.  Tell them that it is okay to love their mom or dad.  Let them know that this new person will never take that place in their life.

Another issue with younger children is that they feel your new love is “stealing” their time.  They won’t want to “share” you with someone else.  Tell them “I love you as much as ever, but sometimes I'm not here when you want me to be. I like to spend time with my friends, just like you do.”

If your kids continue to object to your new love, you should listen to them.  This doesn’t mean that they can nix your relationships.  But, if he or she doesn’t listen to them, doesn’t pay attention to them, or makes them uncomfortable, you should listen.  These may be signs that the relationship won’t work with your family.

Older children and teens are likely to rebel.  They’ll test their limits by pushing back against your new love. 

Handle this by giving them some control over their lives. While they shouldn’t control your dating, getting their input on things that they can have a say in – like whether they’d be more comfortable if your date joined you for dinner at the home or if you all went out together can facilitate their acceptance of your new love.

Ask your kids for a monthly “date” with just you and them.  That will make them feel like they are still special to you.  By phrasing this in terms they’ll identify with, you will allow yourself to grow closer to them.  When you go out on your “date,” do things they want to do.

Remember that you are the parent though.  Ultimately, you are the adult in the house. It’s great that you respect your child’s opinion on the matter, that you’re open about discussing the situation and that you’re trying to keep peace in the home. But, in the end, you are the adult and if you want to date someone and your teen doesn’t like it, that’s just too bad.

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Don’t Turn Your New Partner into a Parent Helper Right Away

Your new partner is a love interest.  You should spend your initial months together in romantic ways.  The most important thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to seal the bond between you.

If you ask him or her to help you in significant ways with the kids, you are imposing an obligation on them that they are not ready to take.  Just as you shouldn’t ask your kids to start treating your love like a parent figure right away, you shouldn’t ask your partner to take on parenting duties.

They may offer to babysit or do minor child chores at first.  You have to decide whether this hurts or helps your relationship.  Remember, the relationship should come before any “assistance” with your kids.

Similarly, you have to factor in how your kids will view this “assistance” from your partner.  You have to give them room to get to know the new person before he or she will be fully accepted by them.

Another note on this topic is that experts almost universally agree that you should not allow your new love to discipline your children at first.  Your partner is a friend, not a parent to them.  If you do ever allow your partner to parent in this way, it should only be after they have become an official step parent through marriage.

In short, your kids are not his or her responsibility until the relationship has been taken to a level where they are part of the “family” in whatever form that takes.

Be Consistent on Sex

One of the things you need to be clear about when you start to date when you have children is the messages you want to be sending your kids about sex. 

Parents have many views about sex.  For instance:

• No premarital sex
• Sex only in committed relationships
• Sex is for adults only

Whatever you are going to tell your kids about sex, you need to practice it yourself.  It’s not enough to tell them to “do as I say not as I do.”  Your children will pick up on any hiprocracy right away.

The next thing you need to do is decide on sleeping arrangements.  Perhaps your love only sleeps over when the kids are on visitation with the other parent.  Or, perhaps you make every night a slumber party.  You need to figure out these things ahead of time so that a last minute hormonal decision doesn’t harm your relationship with your children.

Finally, if you have older kids, you need to think through how you are going to talk to them about sex in light of your new relationship.  Intimate moments are private for a reason, so you shouldn’t let them pry.  But you can also use your own life as a living “teachable moment” for them.

Article 2-3 In a Series of Articles on Single Parent Dating Tips

Where to Find Dates

The scope of dating changes when you have children.  You probably can’t hang out at single’s bars every night like you could before the kids were born.  Some people find it difficult to find someone new when they are finally ready to start dating someone new.

Let all of your friends and acquaintances know that you are interested in meeting new people.  Let them set you up on dates.  When you do this, the man or woman that you see will be aware up front that you have kids.

When you are with your kids, strike up conversations with other eligible parents.  Not all of them will be available, but some will be.  The fact that they understand what life is like with kids is an added plus.

While you may not have the time or energy to go to a lot of single’s events, you may have an hour at the end of the day to visit online dating sites.  Consider joining one or more of these sites.  A general interest site will have some information in the profiles about whether the person is interested in dating people with kids.  More specific sites exist for single parents to meet each other.

When you start actively looking for someone, you will probably be pleasantly surprised at how many people there are to date.

Let Your Date Know About Your Kids

You should let your date know about your kids as soon as possible.  If you wait, they may feel that they have wasted their time if they are not interested in kids.

But, more importantly, you will have wasted your time.  And, for single parents, time is precious.  Don’t think that you can lure someone into loving you and then spring your kids on them after they’ve fallen in love.  It just doesn’t work that way.

Don’t apologize for being a parent.  Your kids are a big part of your life.  You are justifiably proud of your relationship with them. 

If your date expresses any hesitation about your having kids, that’s a good sign that you shouldn’t pursue the relationship.  If he or she seems only tolerant of children, it’s a good sign things won’t work out.

Find out how they feel about having more children and how they see integrating the families upfront as well.

Don’t Parade Dates in Front of Kids

Introducing someone new to your kids should take serious thought.  For instance, having a series of “uncles” come into a child’s life can be very confusing.  It should be a big step to introduce someone to your kids.  It’s taking the relationship up a level.

Before you introduce your kids to a new love, you should be in a committed relationship, envision this person as a potential member of your family, and talk between yourselves about what this means.  Make sure your love is ready to accept the responsibility of being a part of your kids’ lives.

Additionally, before you introduce your new man or woman, really get to know them.  Do a background check if you feel that is important.  When you introduce someone into your family, you make your kids vulnerable to them.  Make sure that the person is not a psycho or a child abuser.  Remember, the only “rule” is that your kids don’t get hurt.

Reassure Your Kids that They Remain Important to You

Realize that when you introduce another person into the “family,” your kids are going to feel threatened by the new person’s presence.  Therefore, you are going to need to reaffirm the children’s centrality to your life.

Tell them that just because you love another man or woman, it doesn’t mean that you love them any less.

Share your enthusiasm about the person you are dating.  Tell your kids why you love him or her. 

Use this opportunity to talk openly about love relationships.  They will later model what you do now, so your reassurance about love is important.

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The First Encounter

When you first introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your children, you may want to tell them he or she is a “friend.”  Let them get used to the person before you up the ante.

You want the first encounter to be fun for everyone.  Don’t plan a big event.  Keep it small and fun.

For instance, go to the park and play on the swings, or for older kids, play Frisbee.  Have a special treat like ice cream from the vendor to make the occasion extra “sweet.”

Keep the occasion short.  Spend an hour or so together. 

It may be best to arrive at a venue in separate cars rather than meet at one house and drive together.  That way, if things blow up (and they might), you can quickly leave.

You are also probably going to be concerned with the impression your children make on your new love.  That’s natural.  But you should let your kids be kids.  You’ll stress them out if you try to make them “perfect” for this occasion.

If you have older kids, this is not the time to have big fights about holey jeans or make up.  Teenagers in particular may “push back” by pushing all of your buttons.  Realize that it is stressful for them to meet an adult figure that may play a role in their lives.

Give your children and your new love space to develop their own relationships.  The bond between them is going to be forged naturally.  You can’t force it. 

You can facilitate it though.  Have family style dates.  Do fun, kid-oriented things together like going ice skating or to a movie that the kids have been dying to see.

But, if your kids are shy or uncomfortable with the new person, don’t push it.  If their relationship with the new person never forms, there is nothing you can do to “make” your kids love the new person.