The proper way to keep Your Wife Forever

The proper way to keep Your Wife Forever
by Jimmie Burroughs

The correct way to keep your wife forever requires some positive action from the partner. While divorce happens and has lots of reasons, there's a re-occurring shortage of action from most men that contributes heavily to it. It is that simple small word "love" and showing it each day in each way. Below is an excellent example of what takes place when love isn't shown, or seemingly is not shown.

The recent separation of the previous governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, is yet another example of what appears to be the partner having little time for his wife and not showing the love and respect she deserves . According to her very own response, Schwarzenegger was impossible to live with and highly selfish. She desired a deeper more intimate relationship. She revealed she had been miserable and sad for years and had been pondering divorce for a couple of years.

"Now it has been claimed other half Maria Shriver may be ready to give her marriage with Arnold Schwarzenegger a second chance as she will be able to not bear the thought of divorce for spiritual reasons." They're presently going to marriage counseling together. It's my prayer that they do work it out.

Let us get a snapshot of this marriage: Arnold Schwarzenegger a famous movie star, then governor of the state of California for over 7 years, loaded; she, Maria Shriver, a direct descendent of the famous Kennedy clan; her uncle president of the U. S.; she, a high profile Television Correspondent for some 15 years, also well off. They, rich and living in a stunning home in an exclusive neighborhood of stars; four youngsters and all the conveniences that wealth affords; by her own words she says she has been miserable and unhappy for years.

Biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher asserted of their marriage, "I do think that there are differences between these two personalities that have left her without the love and without the deep intimacy that she's been searching for many years."

There is a dynamic story here: Everything in the world will not replace a woman's driving, inbred need for love and respect because that's the way God designed her.

It takes years of overt effort infrequently to bring the marriage down. The following article gives a good illustration of how time and losing interest influences the marriage:

The Sat. Evening Post released an article several years ago, titled The 7 Ages of the Married Cold . It gives the reaction of a partner to his wife's colds during their first 7 years of marriage. Here is how it goes:

The first year : Sugar dumpling, I'm really worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle, and there isn't any telling about these things with all this strep throat going around. I am putting you in the hospital after lunch for a general checkup and a good rest. I know the food is lousy, but I am going to be bringing your meals in from Rossini's. I have already got it all prepared with the floor super.

The second year : Listen, darling, I don not like the sound of that cough. I called Doc Miller and asked him to whizz over here. Now you trot off to bed like a good girl, please. Just for Pappy.

The 3rd year: Maybe you had better lie down, honey: nothing like a little rest when you're feeling useless. I'll bring you a bite of food. Do you have any canned soup?

The proper way to keep Your Wife Forever

The fourth year: Now look, dear, be sensible. After you have fed the children, washed the dishes and finished the floor, you had better lie down.

The 5th year: Why not take 2 aspirin?

The 6th year: I'm wishing you wouldd just gargle or something, instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal!

The 7th year: For Pete's sake, stop sneezing! Are you attempting to give me pneumonia?

It is funny, but also miserable that it is so true; it's a good illustration showing how a marriage declines over time if care is not brought to keep it alive and well.

In my personal marriage counselling over the years I have notice a pattern; it seems that the reason for failed marriages is frequently the disposition of the person, and that's he does not show the love and respect for his wife that she requires. I realize that there are two sides to every story nonetheless it is definite that this one reason for failed. marriages is an exceedingly distinguished one and one that happens again and again.

There's a Bible verse that sets the pattern for The best way to keep a lady foreve r that is so often ignored by the man. It concerns the way God created a man and a woman: Hubbies, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. (Ephesians 5:25-27, King James Version)

In the previous verse there's this: Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:24, King James Version)

In these verses we see the way God made the spouse to reply to the partner and the way the husband is to respond to the spouse. Yes I know that in this day of the feminist influence that the concept of a woman submitting to a partner has grown in disfavor. Nonetheless, that doesn't at all change the way in which we were created.

When you come to understand what it is all about, it places it into an alternative viewpoint. For example, nowhere in the Bible is the wife told to love her husband, though naturally she should, it is clear here in this passage that a man is to love his spouse and to love her with the fullest persistence just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. The reason why the man is commanded to love his wife is that God made a woman to have a powerful have to be loved by her man.

So here is the deal, another half has an inborn deep need both psychologically and emotionally for her husband to love her. She is so designed that when this happens that she responds to her husband and is attracted to him even to the point of submitting herself to him. From another standpoint, if the husband doesn't show this absolutely dedicated love for his spouse, it has the wrong effect, she's driven away from him and the relationship dies. So like it or not the opening responsibility to keep the marriage going is the husband's.

The discussion over whether or not the woman should submit herself to the man is no longer an argument when the man truly loves his wife. What lady in her right mind wouldn't be willing to submit to a man who loved her so dearly that she meant everything to him, and he would happily lay down his very own life for her?

Keep in mind that we aren't talking about an unexpressed love here, but a love that expresses itself in everything and does so regularly. Read my article "7 yays to win a woman's love."

By the way, submission is not such an awful word; the Bible in these same verses asserts, Submitting yourselves one to another in the phobia of God . Submission is a character feature for each and everyone, not simply the better half alone. (Ephesians 5:21, King James Version)

We are to submit ourselves to one another. We are to submit ourselves to Christ who also submitted himself to the Heavenly Pa. It is not a case of who is more crucial. Jesus counted himself equivalent to the Father yet he submitted to him. The husband and wife are also equal but with different roles.

Back to where I started with the tale of the separation of the Governor and his wife: when a hubby does not have time for his other half, his ego is so massive that he believes only of himself, then it isn't any wonder the wife experiences a sad and unhappy life; he has pushed her away and deprived her of the very intimate and romantic experience that she is intended to have. It has caused her to lose purpose and taken away any sense of security. When you add disloyalty to this mix, it completely destroys any remaining relationship and I say that seldom can the relationship be mended.

Hence The simplest way to keep another half foreve r is as easy as loving her and solidly showing that love in all that you do.

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About the author: Jimmie Burroughs is an inspiring speaker and author who has been concerned in teaching Christian Private Development for more than 30 years. There may be more than 600 articles to help on his site in your personal expansion. Be certain to take vantage of the FREE offer to get the PDF The 4 Pillars for Private Developmen t while available.

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Article 1-2 In a Series of Articles on Your Pretty Princess Wedding on a Pauper’s Budget

Introduction

Today, many women spend tens of thousands of dollars on glamorous weddings.  The competition to have the “biggest and the best” on “the most important day of your life” is fierce.  But you actually don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a fabulous wedding.  It is simply a matter of deciding what features are important to you and how to cut the costs.  You can still have everything you want and keep your wedding on a budget if you plan carefully.

It Starts With a Ring

Traditionally, a man buys a ring and suprises his girlfriend with it when he proposes. 

Traditionally, the man or the couple would go to the local jeweler and look at the 100 or so rings available and make a choice.

Traditionally, a man would spend two times his monthly income on the ring.

But things aren’t so traditional anymore.  In the modern world, the woman is often involved with the purchasing decision from the word go.  Now, there are online diamond jewelry outlets that have tens of thousands of ring combinations and will save you a ton of money over a retail store. 

At the time of this writing, Zales was offering “specials” on half carat engagement ring diamond solitaires for $1600.  Blue Nile online store’s “build it yourself” ring was $1050. 

You not only save money at Blue Nile, you get to design your own ring.  You can select diamonds on the basis of their clarity, carat, color, and cut.  You also select the setting and can incorporate things such as the bride and groom’s birthstones.

Another nice feature is that you can order the ring in the bride’s size from the outset which means there is no delay in getting a standard size ring resized.

Finally, when you start the wedding process by saving on the ring rather than spending an outlandish amount at a retail store, you set the tone for the whole wedding budget.

Wedding Budget

The next thing we need to look at is deciding on the overall wedding budget.  A sensible thing to do is establish a top figure that you are willing to spend (say $10,000) and develop your budget at 80% of that (say $8,000).  Weddings have a way of costing more than you planned, so plan for the unexpected from the beginning.

The bride’s father typically had two roles: write the checks and walk her down the aisle.  But things have changed.

First of all, with wedding expenses what they are, many fathers are not willing to foot the bill all by themselves.  Also, as couples have delayed getting married, they have some money to pay for the wedding themselves.

Early on in the wedding planning, sit down with all of the people who are going to be paying the bills and ask what their contributions can be and what they expect in return.  You can involve fathers, mothers, step parents, and groom’s parents.

You can ask people to chip in a certain amount toward the overall budget or you can ask them to pay for specific things.  Perhaps an aunt will pay for the wedding flowers while your step father will buy the dress.  If you get commitments for specific things, the people who are helping you foot the bill will feel that they have more control over their budgets.  They may also be willing to spend a little more because it is for one thing and not for a general budget.

Keep in mind that once you get financial commitments from people, they start to work them into their own budgets.  If you go back and ask for more later, they may not have the money.  So, try to stick with the budget you set forth at the beginning.

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It’s YOUR Wedding

The traditional wedding lament of all brides has been “It’s MY wedding,” when mothers, mothers of the bride, and other relations have tried to run the show.  This lament has traditionally fallen on deaf ears.

But, if you are paying for more of the wedding yourself or if you are trying to control costs, you have more of a say in how the wedding will unfold.

For instance, if you are trying to keep costs down, the guest list will reflect the people you really want there, not your third cousin’s ex wife’s nephew (unless he really is a close friend of yours.) 

You can also keep the wedding costs under control by limiting the number of attendants.  Every member of your extended family does not need to be part of the wedding party.  You can tell them your budget simply does not allow for this and ask them to sing in a duet or read a poem instead.

If you are planning a wedding on a budget, it also frees you to think through all of the aspects of a wedding.  Is the Unity Candle ceremony important to you?  If not, ditch it and save $50. 

If you are planning a wedding on a budget, insist on having more control over the details.  This (hopefully) once in a lifetime experience can be brought in at the cost allocated only if you don’t give in to everyone else’s wishes.

Cut the Crap

In the rest of this report, I’m going to tell you how to get the best deals on numerous parts of the wedding.  But before I do that, I want to recommend that you cut the crap.

That is, what parts of the wedding or wedding gear do you NOT really need?  There is an entire wedding industry that exists solely to sell you stuff.  Brides often feel guilty if they don’t buy it.  They think that they might miss a momento 50 years from now if they don’t buy it.  But think about the number of moves you’ll make in your lifetime and the current living space you have and ask yourself whether you will actually keep all of those wedding “things.”

For instance, are matching “Bride” and “Groom” Champaign flutes really necessary?  Are you going to keep them always and forever?  Personalized flutes can cost $80 and up.  Do you really want the thing you make a toast with taking up 1 percent of your budget?

Another thing you might want to consider is the markup on anything associated with a wedding.  Unity candles can cost $100 in the special wedding section of a store.  But, a $12 candle from Target could serve the purpose just as well.

Also, think about all of the clothing that gets sold with “bride” on it.  Sure, you want to let the world know that you’re married, but six months from now, are you still going to want to wear sweats that say “bride”?  Your identity may be wrapped around getting married right now, but later, those clothes may actually be embarrassing. 

Your wedding party does not need all of the “stuff” either.  Your best friend is never going to wear that “maid of honor” sweat shirt again.  Don’t feel compelled to buy these trivial things that add up to big budget items.

Finally, think about what personalized “swag” is really necessary at a wedding.  Do your reception guests really need matchbooks with your names on them?  All of those things add to the total bottom line price, and many of them don’t add any real value to the event.