Do You Know If Your Relationship Is On the Rocks?

No-one wants a relationship to end and if it does it can sometimes come as a big shock, leaving you feeling confused and not sure why it happened.  A break up can leave you feeling betrayed, rejected and can really put a dent in your self-confidence.
After a break up you will often find yourself wondering why it happened and what you could have done to save the relationship.  You will begin to ask yourself what you did wrong and what you could have done differently.  All those ‘what if’ questions will start running through your mind.
Some relationships, even after a break up, can manage to repair the damage and get back on track.  But it really is much easier to save a relationship if you can prevent it from reaching break up stage.  As soon as you see any signs of trouble in a relationship you need to act fast to resolve it.
You can only take steps to resolve any issues if you are aware that there are issues.  If you can recognize the warning signs of a relationship in trouble then you have a good chance of repairing it and preventing a break up from happening.  It really is essential to know what signs to look for so you can save your relationship before it’s too late.
Let’s take a look at some of the common warning signs of a break up.
Is your partner avoiding you?  If your relationship has reached the stage when your partner seems to be spending more time with his mates than he does with you then this can be a warning sign that trouble is pending.  Is your partner avoiding your phone calls?  Is your partner avoiding spending any romantic time with you?  Has he increased his night out with the boys from once a week to three or four times a week?  A yes answer to these questions is a strong warning sign that your relationship is in strife.

Has communication between you and your partner become uncomfortable or non-existent?  A happy relationship needs to have good communication so if it seems that you are having trouble communicating with your partner then there might be something to worry about.  Lack of communication goes hand in hand with the avoidance issue – if you’re partner is heading off to bed early rather than sit and watch a movie with you, then he is avoiding you and avoiding communication.
Do you seem to be arguing more than normal?    All relationships have some problems and there will be arguments from time to time; that is completely normal.  No two people can agree 100% about absolutely everything; it is just human nature to disagree about some issues.  The problem comes when there seems to be more and more arguing and less and less normal conversation.  There is also the severity of the arguments and whether they have changed from general arguing to very hostile arguing.  Your relationship may be in trouble if you find that arguments have become a regular occurrence and your partner seems to be picking fights quite a lot.  Sometimes prior to a breakup a person may pick fights because it helps them to justify their intentions when they do finally make the break and end the relationship.
Avoidance, lack of communication and a lot of arguing are three big warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.  If you are aware of these signs and notice them soon enough then you can work toward resolving any problems and saving your relationship.

Why Fantasies Are Actually Healthy For a Relationship

This is a great and useful article for you that i wrote for EzineArticles about what i think

is one very important issue that affect our life in many ways.

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As about why fantasies are actually healthy for a relationship I will begin telling you my own story. It all started out as almost every relationship almost on a bed of roses but gradually I found out that those roses had thorns to. Easy to say I really was no good copying on that side of a relationship meaning that every problem that rose up in our deep blue sky I neither faced it or talked about it. Neglecting it as long as possible became my way to "solve problems" which initially seemed to work but instead of going away things just became worse. Coming back to the title about fantasies I think it´s a key point to consider because we often start out with very positive fantasies of how our new love will be and also how our relationship will be, often more positive than realistic. Such fantasies are far from good in the long run but they are actually essential for a relationship in the beginning because otherwise we may not have had the courage to even consider to flirt with her at all. But if we use our fantasies to also see a positive solution possible when we discover the thorns it will help us. It´s easy to be negative and reject our own part of a dispute which make us self-imposed victims and therefore without quilt. Or as I did pretend everything´s alright which in the end will lead to a fight.

So what is there to do? I have a few good starting points here:

#1 is we both carry at least half of the problem.

#2 is listen more than you speak.

#3 is that the actual subject we disagree on is not every time the real issue.

#4 is to confirm your spouse; look her in the eyes and say you love her.

#5 is to be yourself from the beginning, show your genuine self.

Sometimes though and for different reasons things are going completely out of control and a solution seems out of reach. My experience is that it´s almost impossible to get through to each other when carry hurt feelings. It just has to lay low for a time until the smoke has cleared the air after the "explosion". At that time it is very wise to get some professional help for example therapy about relationship in some form; there´s some good resources both online and "offline" so to say. In closing I would like to say stick to what you have and take your part of the responsibility both for the good and the bad!

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