Womans Touch: Dating Do's And Dont's For Females

Womans Touch: Dating Do's And Dont's For Females
by Sven Hylten-Cavallius

It can be difficult to be a woman in the dating arena. A lot of things can go wrong for you more than it can for your male counterpart. Plus, men can be really dense about a few things. Well, no worries. Here are a few tips on what to do and not to do during a date:

1) Timing is important - Timing as in 'on time.' No matter what they say, there is no such thing as 'fashionably late.' For the first date, this can give the guy jitters and make him think that you've stood him up. For the later dates, having him wait for you in the living room for half an hour with either your roommate, your sister or, worse, your father is not something you want him to do - whether it be for the embarrassing stories or Dad's 'eyes of doom'.

2) Keep your head on straight - Yes, we all know dates are supposed to be fun, but knowing what's going on is important both for your own safety and for you love life. Is your date acting suspicious or just nervous? Maybe you'd want to end the date early or do something to calm him down. Is he taking notice of what you're wearing or just ogling? The choice to either wink at him or just stare knowingly is up to you. Is his attention on you or the girl next to you? You might wish to reward him with a smile or a slap. Situational awareness is not just for soldiers on the front but also for young women on the prowl.

3) Be nice - Have a positive attitude, find things that you like and tell him. Compliment him about his clothes, how he looks and how well the date is going. It puts him at ease and also makes him feel important. It also shows him that you're taking notice of him and you appreciate him. But, don't lie. Like I said, look at the bright side of things - the service of the restaurant may have been slow but the ambience was terrific. Try making it into a habit, you aren't lying - you're just being diplomatic!

Womans Touch: Dating Do's And Dont's For Females

4) Do not complain - This may be technically part of tip three, but it deserves a separate heading. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is important here. 'Venting,' like we do with our girl friends, is not going to go over well with him since he'll probably misinterpret it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calm, reasoned tones your problem. Trust me, he'll understand, and he'll try to make it up to you.

5) Enjoy the date - A date is a chance to get to know each other and to enjoy yourselves. Have fun during the date. Try not to be hyper-critical and just take things in stride. If you're not having fun, your date will notice and, trust me, he will get nervous which will probably start ruining the experience for both of you. Also, just let your guard down for a little while. Let him see the real you. He may or may not like it, but in the end he will appreciate the honesty of the act. Besides, if he doesn't like you for you, why should you keep on dating?

6) Afterwards, show interest - If you really like the guy, waiting for the call after a successful date is nerve-wracking. You know he's interested, and you're definitely interested, you're just waiting for him to call you, so you could arrange another date. Try giving him a day or two. He usually has to get his act together and work up the courage to call. If he doesn't call, he's probably still tongue-tied from being in your presence. Call him up to say hello. Talk about the date and how you had fun and give hints. No matter how dense he will pick up on it, and he'll probably be asking you for another date!

7) Be consistent - For those who've crossed the 'First Date' Rubicon, try maintaining the impression you made on him on that first date. Men don't like surprises except, of course, if they plan them. This doesn't mean, however, that you'll just give him the first date you. Talk to each other, both on and off dates, to get to know each other more. What he got on the first date was a sneak peek, what he should get from your continued dating should be the entire reel.

Well, there they are seven tips for dating success! Hopefully, this advice could help lead you through today's tough tangle of relationships. Happy hunting!

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Article 5-6 In A Series of Articles on Balancing Your Friends and Lover

Recognizing Sacred Occasions

Every relationship – from that with members of your family, to your friends, to your significant other – has “sacred occasions” associated with it.

For instance, if you miss Mother’s Day, you are in trouble with the whole family.

Similarly, there are certain kinds of days that are unique to a relationship.  Valentine’s Day, for instance, should never be spent with friends if you have a significant other.  New Year’s Eve is another day that couples should spend together.

But your friends may also have their own calendar.  For instance, if the “girls” always have spent Memorial Day weekend at the beach, it would be bad form to make her spend it at a picnic with your family.  And, woe to the girlfriend who breaks a SuperBowl Sunday tradition with his buddies.

There may be conflicts between “sacred days.”  If this is the case, you need to talk through them.  Try not to let the situation end up pitting your friends against your significant other.

When the Best Friend is of the Opposite Sex

What do you do when his best friend is a girl or vice versa?  How do you handle the platonic pal that is always in his life?

Whether or not men and women can truly be best friends has long been a subject of debate, and there's no way that we're going to settle it here. Suffice it to say, for the purposes of this report, we're operating under the assumption that heterosexual men and women cannot be best friends; sex always gets in the way.

Therefore, if a guy and a girl appear to be best friends, it's necessarily because one of them secretly wants to see the other naked.

So what do you do if you meet a guy or girl, start dating them, and find out that her best friend is of the opposite sex?  Their commitment to their friend might make you jealous, but if you get too possessive too fast, you're bound to lose them. The trick is to assess whether or not her best friend poses a threat to your relationship, and then deal with the situation accordingly.

First things first, don't express jealousy. It's likely that your love has dumped many previous boyfriends because they couldn't handle the fact that her best friend is of the opposite sex. It's especially important to note that if you issue an ultimatum early on in the relationship, you will lose. Besides, jealousy makes you look insecure, especially if it's unfounded. You need more information before deciding how to act.

Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you want to meet the best friend. It's the only way you'll be able to accurately assess their relationship. Does he stare at her longingly? Does she flirt with him? Remember to keep your jealousy in check. He or she is her friend, so she's naturally going to be comfortable hugging and speaking confidentially to their friend. Your main objective here is to assess the competition.

You'd make an effort to be nice to her same sex friends right? So why should things be any different just because her best friend is of the opposite sex?

This article will continue...

(Continuation of Article 5)

Your new love is going to judge you based on how you treat their friends, so make a real effort every time the best friend is around. Besides, if you're consistently nice to the best friend, and he or she is consistently a jerk to you, you'll be the nice girl or guy who's making an effort, and they’ll be the problem one.

As you determine whether or not the best friend poses a threat, you need to find out more about their history. Casually ask whether he or she and the best friend were ever more than just friends. Keep the tone light and playful. Chances are that there was at least one drunken make-out session back in high school. Make sure to find out as much about the friend’s romantic history as possible too. If he or she "never seems to find the right person," it could mean they’re still pining after your new love.

In the case of a man, if her best friend is a guy, it's probably going to cause problems for your relationship, as there will always be another guy with whom she's emotionally intimate. Ultimately, if you want your relationship to succeed, you need to gradually become her "go-to guy," the first person she thinks to call whenever she has good or bad news. Here are some techniques to help you phase her best friend out of her life.

In the case of a woman, make it a project with your boyfriend friend to find his best friend a boyfriend of his own. Suggest that the two of you start setting her up with single ladies you know. Go on double-dates to facilitate the process.

Another useful technique for phasing the best friend out is to subtly get your love to talk about them. Encourage them whenever they start complaining about the best friend. Be there whenever the two of them get into an argument. Remember, however, to assume a passive role. Insulting the best friend is not the way to your partner’s heart, so don't try badmouthing the friend yourself.

Keep Her Friends Happy and You’ll Keep Her Happy

This section is mainly for guys as women are much more likely to involve their friends in the details of your relationship.  Gossip among women is more rife than that among guys.

When you and your girlfriend have a fight, one of the first things she might do is call her friends that night bawling because you chose to go out with the guys instead of her. Loyalty between friends runs deep and they will be on her side, as your buds would be on yours, but it never hurts to have them on your good side.

This article will continue with tomorrows article.

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