Dealing With Her Reaction When You Break Up

You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That's the price of breaking up.

You can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn't have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.

If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.

If she doesn't say anything, don't fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.

Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.

Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can't miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.

How to Tell Her

Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She'll see right through it. Saying "it's not you, it's me" is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You're calling her off.

Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.

Be concise. You don't have to drag it out if you don't want to. She can cry on her girlfriends' shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.

You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don't. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won't help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She'll just use your words against you. And, you won't get anything out of it.

Perhaps the best line is "I don’t think we're a good fit anymore." Leave it at that and walk away if you're smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!

Getting Beyond He Said-She Said

The term, "He said/she said" is often heard in the unfortunate case of rape. In this situation the term applies to the fact that when there is little factual evidence on which to base a decision the jury is left trying to determine who's story they believe and the case becomes one of her word against his. These cases perhaps illustrate the problems regarding he said/she said that couples are faced with in a relationship.
Beyond the fact that in a rape case one or both of the parties may not be telling the truth, exists the underlying problem that men and women think and process information differently. The differences between male and female gender include differences in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication. A successful relationship is one that recognizes the difference between men and women and is able to get beyond the he said/she said scenarios.
Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems. While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between them. For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient.
Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.

Sensitivity is another area where ladies and gentlemen differ. Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman’s sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic.
However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple to get beyond he said/she said.
Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well.
Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when a women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don't understand why their partner doesn’t remember something that is so vivid to them.
Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.
Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to flourish. Understanding these he said/she said principals and being willing to get beyond them will help to minimize difficulties in a relationship; in regards to gender differences.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you know theres a man T.W. Jackson that has mend over 50 000 broken hearts in 77 countries, read some of Doctor Love´s secrets here