A Relationship Breakup - You Will Get Over It

After a relationship breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction. Anytime anything "bad" happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A relationship breakup is no exception.

When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There is the loss of a person from your life who you've spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it's common to think you will never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.

But it's not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn't easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.

You'll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You'll hear everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn't feel right.

Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.

1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can't be happening!

2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.

3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don't do that, maybe we can get back together. I'll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .

4. Depression and loneliness set in, once it's clear that bargaining won't change the painful truth.

5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.

6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.

7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.

It can help to try to figure out which stage you're in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.

You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it's really and truly over. But most people's grief process will follow that general pattern. It's important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you've gotten past it.

Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you'll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.

Ps. Here are some really good advice on this subject!

Reasons For A Boyfriend Break Up

Have you had a boyfriend break up?  Maybe you were the one calling it quits.  Or, perhaps he dumped you.  Maybe it was a so called “mutual decision.”  In any case, sometimes a boyfriend break up is devastating.

There are many reasons for a boyfriend break up.  I’m going to look at three in this article.

The first reason is that he cheated on you.  You need to be very clear in your mind what cheating means.  Does that mean that he actually went out on a date with another girl?  Does it mean that he was making out with her at a party?  Does it mean that he danced with another girl?  Does it mean that he simply looked at one?  Defining what you mean by cheating can be very important.

If you have never had a talk about what “exclusiveness” in your relationship means, he may have had no idea that you would consider what he did cheating.  He may even be stunned that you would consider a boyfriend break up over that!

 
If you want to take him back, then you need to have a talk about expectations.  If he can agree to the expressed rules, you can get back together.  If they’re not something he can live with, then you are better off without him in the long run.

Another reason for a boyfriend break up is that you move in different places.  Sometimes this happens in a physical sense.  For instance, your family moves to another state or you and he go to colleges in different locations.  Most relationships cannot survive a great distance in geography and the break up may be mutual, but still painful.

Other times this happens because you start to move in different social spheres in the same place.  You may join the cheerleading squad and he’s not comfortable with your new friends, for instance.  Or, he gets serious about a religious preference that you have no interest in.  When this happens, it is just time to move on.

Finally, a boyfriend break up can occur when you need a different kind of lifestyle.  You may just be tired of having to cater to a boy’s needs ahead of your own, for instance.  Or, you may be bored with him.  He may have seemed glamorous and exciting at first, but now he’s just a pain.  You may have thought you needed a boyfriend because all of your other friends were pairing up, but now you realize that you need your own space and are not ready for a relationship.

In this case, the guy may agree with you or he may try to win you back.  But, make sure you put your own needs first.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other guys out there who are eager to have a girl like you, so there’s no need to have a relationship that isn’t working for you.  Although it may hurt at first, you will survive a boyfriend break up.

Ps. More useful tips here!