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Visar inlägg med etikett Steps for surviving a break up. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett Steps for surviving a break up. Visa alla inlägg

tisdag 19 februari 2013

Surviving A Breakup - 3 Things To Help

Surviving a breakup can feel impossible, especially if you didn’t really want the relationship to end. But even if you were the one who decided it was over, it can feel crummy to have such an important part of your life end. There are three important things you can to help with surviving a breakup.

First, let yourself be sad. It’s natural to not want to feel sad. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. But when a relationship ends, no matter who ended it, you lose a part of your life. If you haven’t been dating long, the sad period probably won’t last that long. But for a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a long time.

It’s important, as painful as it is, to allow yourself to feel that way. The tendency is to avoid those feelings and try to move on to something that feels better. But being sad is a necessary step in the healing process.

Letting yourself feel the sadness will let you deal with the emotions and the pain. Remember that surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the bad feelings, you’ll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve moved on.

Second, keep busy. You have to deal with the sadness and not deny it or push it aside, but that doesn’t mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, you can let yourself do that. But the next day, even if you feel that way again, make yourself do something else.


Let yourself cry for an hour, and then find an activity to help distract you. Even if it’s only watching a movie, at least you’ll be able to concentrate on something else for brief periods of time.

Keep in mind that no matter how “active” your activity might be, sad thoughts and memories will still creep in. Even if you’re solving a hard puzzle and concentrating to distract yourself, now and then a memory will pop up and your mind will be back on the breakup. This is normal.

You just have to deal with the feeling briefly and not let it sidetrack you. Feel it, cry for a bit if you need to, and then keep concentrating on your activity. Soon, the sad thoughts and feelings will pop up less and less when you’re doing other things.

Finally, decide to forgive your ex. Surviving a breakup isn’t just about leaving one relationship and looking for another.

You need to resolve things in the old relationship to help you be more emotionally healthy in the next relationship. If you were hurt in the relationship, forgive your ex for his or her part in that.

This might seem an impossible task. Start by realizing that it really does take two, and that surviving a breakup is more important than having someone to blame for it.

Ps. Read more here!

måndag 18 februari 2013

Steps For Surviving A Break Up

Surviving a break up is a painful experience.  You may feel rejected.  You may be doubting your own self worth.  You may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning.  One thing that may help you is to know that most people have already gone about the process of surviving a break up and have come out stronger for it.

Here are some of the steps for surviving a break up.

First of all, allow yourself to mourn the end of the relationship.  Your ex was almost like an appendage to you.  You identified him or her as a part of you.  You were two halves of a couple.  Just as you would be lost if your right arm was cut off, losing a significant other can be painful.

So, spend some time grieving for the relationship's end.  It can actually be a healthy thing to do.

But at some point (hopefully soon), you have to move on.  You will need to go through a process of being angry at your ex.  He or she hurt you and you have every right to feel mad at them.

Here’s a tip for surviving a break up in the anger stage.  Write a long letter to your ex spilling out your guts about how you feel.  Put every emotion, experience, and feeling into the letter.  But don't mail it to them.  Whatever you do, don't mail it.  Instead, light a candle and burn it slowly over the flame.  As your letter goes up in smoke, release your anger.

At this point, it is time to start rebuilding your life.  Surviving a break up means getting back into the game.  You should definitely lean on the support of friends and family during this difficult time.  The people closest to you will understand that you are having trouble putting your life back together and they should offer you the support that you need to heal.

Also, you should look for activities that spark your interest.  Perhaps there were things that your ex didn't like to do with you that you've missed.  Renew your interest in these things.  If you have had a lifelong desire to learn something, there’s no time like after a break up to try.  You will probably make new friends when you start a new activity and you might even meet a love interest who shares your passion.

At some point, you will want to start dating again.  Don’t expect your first few dates to turn into lifetime relationships.  Just test the waters.  Go out for coffee or a drink.  Have fun and don’t be too serious about these things.

Surviving a break up is always a painful process.  But, you are capable of moving on with your life.  Look at the end of the relationship as a chance for growth.  Millions of people have survived a split with their ex and you will too.
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Steps for surviving a breakup from the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries!