When you’re already in love with someone by the time you realize that he has an issue, it’s more difficult to withdraw from the relationship. Unless the person becomes hurtful and abusive, it may be almost impossible to find the strength to leave a situation that’s not the best for you. Of course, everything is different if your partner is willing and determined to seek the help he needs in order to kick his addiction. In that case, it makes all kinds of sense to stick it out with your partner to provide the much needed support that can, sometimes, help facilitate the treatment.
On the other hand, if your partner doesn’t acknowledge that he has a problem, let alone agree to seek treatment for it, you may need to make a difficult decision. It’s harmful to you if you stay in a situation of this type with no hope for it to improve. No matter how much you may love someone, if he has an addiction and refuses to admit it and seek help for it, you’ll only drag yourself down, too, if you decide to remain. Should you decide to leave, there’s no need to feel guilty because you’ll leave knowing that you did all you could do.
Now, in the event that the signs of an addiction were evident from the first meeting you had with this person, and you still allowed yourself to become involved with him, then shame on you! Why would you do something like that to yourself? This is definitely a “What were you thinking?” moment. It’s one thing to have the situation sneak up on you. It’s an entirely different one to go into it with your eyes wide open.
Now, if you’re in a relationship with someone that’s showing some definite signs of a serious addiction, all you can really do is try to convince him to get the help that he probably so desperately needs. In the meantime, you can also do something for yourself. There are some support groups formed specifically for the loved ones of people with addictions. Examples of these are Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. If you’ve made the decision to stay in this relationship, it’s vital that you contact a support group that can help you deal with the situation.
If you decide that you need to leave the relationship, do so when you’ll feel less threatened or less prone to being manipulated. You can help someone you love only so much. Then you must take care of yourself.