Great Expectations - Are They Ruining Your Romance?

It's great to have high expectations of what life is going to be like when you're sharing it with the person who is the love of your life. Unfortunately, many people have dreams and expectations that are simply unobtainable. Whether it comes from reading romance novels where the hero also realizes the error of his ways and gives in to the heroine's every whim, or, on the other side of the coin, from watching rap videos where women are throwing themselves at the feet of men ready to cater to their every whim.

As a society, we're giving mixed messages between fantasy and reality and it's ruining more than its fair share of romances. If your relationship is becoming a bitter disappointment because it isn't meeting up to your expectations here are a few things it might help you to remember.

Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Others

Whether you're comparing your relationship to real relationships other people have (what you see of those relationships anyway) or something in novels or on television screens, you're doing your relationship a huge disservice. Reality can never live up to fiction and you're only seeing the public side of other relationships. You're not privy to what's going on behind closed doors.

Great Expectations - Are They Ruining Your Romance?

Establish Realistic Expectations

The truth is that we all have expectations of life that rarely live up to reality. When it comes to relationships, learning to compromise and have expectations that are more realistic can make a world of difference when it comes to how happy you are with your partner. Both of you have areas where there is room for improvement. Identify them and make changes where appropriate.

Learn to Speak Up When It's Important

The other problem regarding expectations arises when you fail to speak up when something is really important to you. Your partner can't meet your needs if he or she isn't aware of them. You must speak up and let your partner know what's going on in your head and in your heart. You can't hold the other person in the equation responsible for unknown variables. It's not fair to either of you or your relationship.

It doesn't seem like such a big deal at first glance. However, adjusting your expectations just a little bit, in order to meet your partner in the middle, can make a world of different to your happiness with the relationship and with your partner.

Marriage Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them

Marriage is a complex entity that rarely turns out quite the way you envisioned while making plans and picking out China patterns and wedding dresses. It was so much simpler when it was all on paper and everything matched up perfectly. Real life is never quite so neat and tidy.



Unfortunately, many couples put far more thought into planning the details of their marriage without putting a single thought into what's going to happen once the vows are made. If you're getting ready to take your walk down the aisle, keep these mistakes in mind so you can avoid them in your marriage.

Don't Tell Your Friends about Your Problems

It may seem like the thing to do. Your best friend has been by your side through thick and thin over the years. You want to turn to her as a sounding board for your marital troubles. Unfortunately, there's a big problem with that. Your friend loves YOU. The jury's still out on the man you married. 

If you're going to her to unload all the negatives, she's going to hate him on your behalf and never give him or your marriage a real chance. Over time, the strain will become problematic and you'll either cut ties with your husband (at your friend's urging) or your friend because she's just too antagonistic towards the man you love.

Don't Expect Him to Change

There's an old saying about men and women and how they view marriage. Men, according to this old saying, find the perfect woman and marry her hoping she'll never change. Women go out and find a great start and marry him hoping to change him. Unfortunately for you, men are reluctant to change and are often actually hurt by your efforts to force them to change.

Marriage Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them

If you seriously want change in the marriage or the relationship, it's best to begin by making positive changes for yourself. He'll notice those and often want to be part of it, once he decides it's a change for the better and not simply for the sake of change. But if you go in expecting him to change it's going to leave you both feeling disappointed and out of sorts.

Don't Forget to Connect with Your Husband

We nurture many connections in life. We try to build relationships with our children, with our friends, and even with our coworkers. People reach out and connect on social media networks and online message boards in their "after hours". Connections are more important now than ever before.

And yet so many people fail to reach out and make the connection with the one person who is most important to them. They believe they feel it should somehow be automatic and require no active participation in order to keep going. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to build the bond with shared activities and experiences if you want the bond of marriage to survive the tests of time.

These are small mistakes that can really cost your marriage if you allow them to. Avoid making them and you're sure to have a healthier, happier, and more loving relationship with your husband now and in the years to come.

Marriage Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them

Marriage is a complex entity that rarely turns out quite the way you envisioned while making plans and picking out China patterns and wedding dresses. It was so much simpler when it was all on paper and everything matched up perfectly. Real life is never quite so neat and tidy.

Unfortunately, many couples put far more thought into planning the details of their marriage without putting a single thought into what's going to happen once the vows are made. If you're getting ready to take your walk down the aisle, keep these mistakes in mind so you can avoid them in your marriage.

Don't Tell Your Friends about Your Problems

It may seem like the thing to do. Your best friend has been by your side through thick and thin over the years. You want to turn to her as a sounding board for your marital troubles. Unfortunately, there's a big problem with that. Your friend loves YOU. The jury's still out on the man you married. 

If you're going to her to unload all the negatives, she's going to hate him on your behalf and never give him or your marriage a real chance. Over time, the strain will become problematic and you'll either cut ties with your husband (at your friend's urging) or your friend because she's just too antagonistic towards the man you love.

Don't Expect Him to Change

There's an old saying about men and women and how they view marriage. Men, according to this old saying, find the perfect woman and marry her hoping she'll never change. Women go out and find a great start and marry him hoping to change him. Unfortunately for you, men are reluctant to change and are often actually hurt by your efforts to force them to change.

Marriage Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them

If you seriously want change in the marriage or the relationship, it's best to begin by making positive changes for yourself. He'll notice those and often want to be part of it, once he decides it's a change for the better and not simply for the sake of change. But if you go in expecting him to change it's going to leave you both feeling disappointed and out of sorts.

Don't Forget to Connect with Your Husband

We nurture many connections in life. We try to build relationships with our children, with our friends, and even with our coworkers. People reach out and connect on social media networks and online message boards in their "after hours". Connections are more important now than ever before.

And yet so many people fail to reach out and make the connection with the one person who is most important to them. They believe they feel it should somehow be automatic and require no active participation in order to keep going. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to build the bond with shared activities and experiences if you want the bond of marriage to survive the tests of time.

These are small mistakes that can really cost your marriage if you allow them to. Avoid making them and you're sure to have a healthier, happier, and more loving relationship with your husband now and in the years to come.