4th Article In The Series On "Sparks Of Love"

This article is the 4th article in the series of articles on "Sparks of Love"

Physical Attractiveness

You look at your mate much more than you look at yourself. For that reason, you need to be fairly satisfied with the physical attractiveness of the person you are with. Dissatisfaction will undermine the entire relationship.

This is not to say that you have to date a model or a jock in order to be happy with your partner. But, you probably don't want to be physically revolted by them either.

You should know that people tend to find someone more attractive once they have fallen in love. So, you shouldn't put off a first date just because the person doesn't fit the ideal that you have imagined.

Sex

Sex helps you stay emotionally bonded with your partner. Usually, your partner is the person you most want to be emotionally intimate with and sex facilitates that process.

There are a number of factors which help to determine how satisfied you are in your sex life. These include being attracted to your partner, having an emotional bond, and resolving problems that occur outside of the bedroom.

But there is also the matter of how much skill and inhibition you have in the bedroom. Remember, while practice may not make perfect, it does make for a lot of fun.

Best Ways To Get Her Back

Investment in the Relationship

In many relationship, a woman is madly in love with a man and the man is only casually interested in the woman. This also happens the other way of course. If the partners have different investments in the relationship, it is doomed to failure.

Think about what you are putting into the relationship and what you are getting out of it. If the two don't balance, think about whether the investment is unequal. If it is, consider whether this is going to work out long term.

Power

What is the power balance in your relationship? Some conservative cultures give all of the power – including the sole right to divorce – to the man. In some relationships, one person has more power due to a stronger financial position. Other times, one partner just has a personality that overwhelms the other.

In the beginning stages of a relationship, power balances are quite fragile. But if a relationship is going to work, these issues need to even out over time.

Financial Attitudes

Are you a spender or a saver? Can you get along with someone with a different financial attitude than you have? One recent study showed that spenders tend to marry savers in order to moderate their behavior and savers marry spenders to liberate theirs. But, if your outlooks on finance are too different, there could be serious conflict within the relationship.

Remember that money is one of the most common – and crippling – problems in relationships. So, get a clear idea on how your partner feels about finance before you marry and then work out your money issues as you go along.

What Doesn't Matter

Just as there are things that really matter in relationships, there are also things that don't matter. These are common misconceptions and myths about what makes a relationship succeed.

Tomorrows article will be the 5th article in the series of articles on "Spark of Love".

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3rd Article in the Series On Sparks of Love

Sparks of love must continue in a relationship and one way to do that is to be sharing the same goals as your partner.

Shared Goals

There may be instant attraction across a crowded room, but a relationship can not exist on initial sizzle alone. Along the way, you have to develop some shared goals.

Both partners need to feel good about where they – and their relationship – is going.

For instance, if one person wants a long term commitment that leads to marriage and the other is looking for a casual arrangement, the relationship is not likely to last.

Similarly, if one partner wants children and the other is allergic to kids, there may be a serious fracture in the marriage.

In order for a relationship to work, there are many compromises that have to be made. But, there are some things for which there are no compromises available. For these kinds of goals, you must be in tandem if you want your relationship to go forward.

Timing

It may be that the person you marry is the person you are dating at the time in your life that you are ready to get married. Timing plays an important role in a successful relationship.

You may meet a really great guy or gal when you are 19 and things go along just great. But, at 19, you are focused on school and starting a career and aren't ready to settle down. By the time you are ready, you've moved to different cities and the bond has been broken.

Similarly, you may meet someone right after you have gone through a divorce. But, you are not in an emotional place to let someone new into your life. So, that will be a fish that got away.

Timing is an important component in the kind of men or women you develop strong relationships with.

Communication

You don't have to agree on everything to make your relationship work. But, you do have to have a way to discuss things and resolve differences. If you can handle this in a reasonable way, you can be happy despite your differences.

Consider developing strong relationship communication skills. For instance, employ the tactic of reflective listening. This means that you repeat back what the other person has said and ask if your interpretation is correct. You can also employ empathetic communication where you acknowledge the other person's point of view and then state your own.

Keep tabs on your tone of voice, the volume, and the speed at which you talk. Think about what messages your face is conveying (ie. Rolled eyes, frowning). Consider moderating your gestures and making them more inclusive. Think about what your body positioning is – are you leaning forward and engaging in the conversation or leaning back and disengaging?

Your communication with your partner doesn't mean total agreement, but it means finding a way to live with each other's opinions.

Fun

Life is not meant to be spent balancing the checkbook and disciplining the kids. Life is to be enjoyed. You should have fun with your partner.

If love is going to be developed, you must genuinely enjoy spending time with the other person.

Try to keep fun in the relationship even in the most stressful times. When you have the money to be extravagant from time to time, indulge the relationship. And, even when money is tight, you can find ways to have fun on the cheap or even free. Window shopping, after all, doesn't cost a dime.
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Best Ways To Get Her Back:2nd Article On Sparks Of Love Series

This is the 2nd article in the series of articles on the "Sparks of Love".
As you will remember yesterday's article left off with the discussion on loyalty to your partner. The most important part is likely being monogamous in the relationship.

Monogamy

Monogamy boils down to sexual loyalty. If you are in an exclusive relationship, you have sex only with that person. And, you don't quibble about what sex consists of. Your affections are totally reserved for the person you love. Being sexually exclusive helps your relationship grow emotionally.

Maturity

Two seventh grade students who are “going steady” don't have much maturity – and their “relationships” tend to fall apart in a matter of weeks (or even days) as any middle school teacher will tell you.

But, in an adult relationship, both parties need to have a significant level of maturity to make the thing last. When you have proper emotional development, you are able to see the “big picture” and not sweat the small stuff. You won't just consider your own point of view, you will be able to see the world through your partner's eyes.

When you are mature, you treat the other person well. It's the right thing to do and you know your relationship will benefit as a result. You know that you won't get everything you want and you are prepared to compromise.

When you are mature, you are ready to give as well as receive whereas immature people focus only on their own needs.

Psychological Health

The healthier you are personally, the better the chances are that a relationship can work. This means you are emotionally stable, responsible and independent. You should also have reasonably developed social skills.

A person must be in touch with reality in order to have reasonable expectations for the relationship. You should be free from addictions and not engage in self defeating behaviors.

When people in a relationship suffer from poor psychological health, the relationship will falter. Most relationships cannot survive when one person is significantly healthier than the other.

If you feel you are in poor psychological or emotional health, it may be best to seek personal therapy before engaging in a meaningful relationship in order to have the best chance at success in romance.

Morality

One of the most important aspects to your sense of self is your morality. What things do you consider must be done in order to live a moral life? What things must be avoided. Are social justice, equality, and eco-awareness central to your morality or are your values centered around family values and traditional economics? These things can make a big difference in your relationship.

That is not to say that you have to agree on everything in the political sphere. But, it is necessary that you agree on what is right and what is wrong.

Many times a person's morality is tied in with his or her religious beliefs. So, if you are a highly religious person and you are dating someone who disdains religion, you probably don't have enough shared morality to move forward.

There are some lines that must not be crossed. What are they for you? If your partner does not share these boundaries, you will have endless fights.

Having a shared moral code is one of the most important aspects to your successful relationship.

Tomorrows article will pick up on having shared goals in the relationship.

Ps. Here is how to survive a tough situation in your relation ==>>>

Best Ways To Get Her Back:Sparks of Love Now and Forever

Introduction

This series of articles is about the spark of love. What makes a couple compatible? And is it the things we always imagined?

There are many myths about what matters and what doesn't. There are also things that you might have overlooked as the first blush of attraction crept your way.

There was something that sparked your interest and got you to your first date. Something on that date brought you back for a second.

Now you are in a relationship – you are either serious with a boyfriend or girlfriend or you are married. Now, it is time to analyze your compatibility. But this is no easy checklist. It's a combination of shared values, experiences, and interests.

But relationships are too important to not analyze. That is why we're going to look at 16 things that matter in a relationship and 7 things that don't.

What Matters?

Honesty

Love is more than a mutual sexual attraction, it is a strong emotional bond. Honesty is the glue in that bond.

To become emotionally intimate, you have to share secrets and experiences with your partner that are exclusive to you. This intense, intimate, private exchange requires honesty on the part of both parties. This means that you have to give accurate information about the present as well as the past.

You should know that being honest doesn't mean being rude. If she asks you “does this dress make me look fat?” The answer is always "NO!" You don't have to share things just to hurt your partner. Refrain from spilling your guts in a way that damages the relationship.

Remember, your partner will instinctively trust you because they have put their romantic life in your hands. But, if you violate that trust by lying, he or she may have trouble ever trusting you again.

Trust

Speaking of trust, there is no way you can know what the other person is doing 24/7. That is why you need to trust that they are not doing anything hurtful to you.

That means that you have to trust that they are not being inappropriate with another person, spending community money unwisely, or abusing alcohol, drugs, etc.

Like honesty, once trust is broken, it is hard to get back. Often, the damage done by someone who is untrustworthy can lead to a break up. If the trust violation has been serious, consider couple's counseling if you don't want a split.

Loyalty

If your partner is not for you than who is? You need your significant other to be in your corner 100 percent of the time. That doesn't mean that he or she won't ever criticize you. But it does mean that any critique will be constructive and in your best interest.

Loyalty also means being there for the other person in thick and thin. You should be able to count on your partner when the chips are down.

Finally, loyalty means that your partner is not cheating on you emotionally or sexually with another person.

Tomorrow's article will continue with this series of articles on the sparks of love.

Ps. Meanwhile you can continue watching this Free Video explaining the nuts and bolts in relationships!

Best Ways To Get Ger Back:How To Save A Relationship

Keeping the love alive in a relationship takes work.  While the initial sparks may fly with no effort, over the long haul, it takes creativity and initiative to make things work.

Step outside of your comfort zone.  Don't do things because they're routine or expected. 

Whether you're sending her flowers for no reason or giving him a massage, you send the message that you care.  You tell the person that you're not waiting for the perfect "moment" to come along – you live (and love) in the present tense.

We met Max and Mindy at the beginning of this series of articles.  You'll remember that Mindy was feeling restless.  Max knew that in order to keep her, he needed to step it up.

He started by planning a weekend escape doing all of the things she enjoyed (including antique shopping which he could have done without).  The next week, he wrote her a love letter.

Mindy’s interest was sparked.  She, in turn, wanted to start doing things for Max.  She suggested going to a new French restaurant rather than grabbing a pizza one weekend.  For his birthday, she gave him two tickets to the WWF – and said she'd go along with him and didn't even make a funny face when she told him.

As they began to be more creative in their relationship, it spurred the other one to reciprocate.  They stopped feeling like they were in a rut.  Instead of being in a "go no where" relationship, all of a sudden, the spark was lit.  Things began to get exciting and they started to talk about the future.

If you love someone but feel like your relationship is stuck, un-stick it.  You have the power to shake things up by thinking outside of the box. 

I've given you a number of suggestions in this series of articles for how to do that.  But you should think about your particular situation and the person you love.  What would make him or her happy?  How can you do the unexpected to get a response that will move your relationship forward?

I guarantee you that if you go out on a limb, something will change in your relationship.

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Best Ways To Get Her Back:Think Mystery Date To Keep Your Love Alive

Plan a Mystery Date

Some couples do the same things for every date.  Others depend on the old "so what do you want to do?" routine.

Instead, take charge and plan a mystery date.  Take the time and care to prepare a special date.  Your partner should not be responsible for anything other than showing up.  You should pick the place, choose the activity, buy the tickets, and arrange for the dinner.

Settle on the time and dress ahead of time.  Don't whisk your love off to Paris for a romantic weekend when he or she has a major presentation at work on Monday.  You are only setting yourself up for hurt at your partner’s response if you don't take their schedule into consideration.

But, once you have agreed on the day, let yourself get creative.  Pretend you are planning the world’s most spectacular experience specifically to delight the head and heart of the person you love.

You can be lavish or low key.  It can be close by or far away. 

Keep in mind that you are planning something your partner will enjoy, not indulging in your own fantasies.  Focus on making the date, with all of its trimmings, a delight to your love.

Keep in mind that a date doesn't need to be expensive, just imaginative.  A picnic can work as well as a week in Paris.  A home cooked meal can be as romantic as a 5 star restaurant.  This is about your heart, not your wallet.

Taking responsibility to do something that you know the other person will be pleased by can be very romantic.

Best Ways To Get Her Back

Go Someplace New

If a tourist were to come to your town, what are the things he or she would most likely do? 

Too often we take our own environs for granted and fall into a routine for our dates.  But you don't have to repeat the same activities for every evening out.

Too many people drop into their favorite neighborhood restaurant, have a Saturday night movie date, or just hang with their friends.  You can spice up your relationship and show your partner that you care about them by doing something new.

When you put some effort into new and different activities, you demonstrate that your partner is worth putting yourself out for.

Consider checking out the weekend section of your daily newspaper or the events section of a weekly alternative paper for great ideas.

Here's a list of places you can visit together:

• Aquariums
• Zoos
• Amusement Parks
• Water Parks
• Beaches
• Museums
• Sculpture Gardens
• Botanical Gardens
• Churches
• Rowboats
• Mountains
• The Desert
• Paris
• Redwood Forest
• New York at Christmas
• Carriage Rides
• Fireplaces
• Country Lanes

Keeping your love fresh by creating a mystery date isn't difficult or expensive, unless you make it so. Just remember you are doing this for your significant other and not yourself.

Ps.Always do everything from your heart and you will make up instead of break up in your relationship!

Best Ways To Get Her Back: How To Surprise Your Partner

Clean Your Love's Place

Leslie was very organized by nature.  Rick was not.  Rick's work shed was an absolute mess and he complained that he could never find anything. 

The work shed was someplace that Leslie didn't frequent.  She didn't care whether he kept it clean or not.  But, she knew that he would love to have it organized.

So, as a birthday gift, she gave him a note saying she would clean it for him.

Many times men express their love for their partner by "doing things."  Women should do the same.

Doing something concrete for the person you love can be one of the most romantic things you can do.  When she comes in and cleans his place or he goes and cleans out her rain gutters, partners are making a time commitment into the relationship.

The idea of someone we love doing something we loathe is just really cool.  Besides, cleaning someone else's place isn't as bad as working on your own place.

Don't send the message that "you’re a slob" though.  You might want to clean one room, for instance.  Do it in a spirit of love and not "I'm sick of this clutter."

Don"t think about throwing anything away – especially things that he or she loves.  Remember, it’s not about changing his or her behavior but about showing how much you care.  It"s okay to polish the chrome in the bathroom, but throwing things out is not okay.

It's not fair to peak into drawers and invade someone's private life when you are doing them a favor and cleaning.

Also, unless you have a key and free reign of the place, giving a "gift certificate" good for doing the laundry, cleaning the oven, mowing the lawn or waxing the car may be a better idea than breaking and entering.

Do Something He or She Likes

No two people are exactly alike.  In the early days of a relationship, you"re probably willing to do just about anything to spend time with your partner.  But, as the relationship develops, you start to want to spend time doing "your" things or doing things together that you can both enjoy.

That's why it is such a treat when you say you'll do something that your partner likes exclusively.  Give her tickets to the ballet (and the promise that you'll go without complaining.  Give him tickets to Professional Wrestling and avoid making comments that it's all made up.

And, you don't have to actually give the tickets.  Give a "gift certificate" for "one event of your chose with no complaints and no strings attached."

Your willingness to do something you hate because the person you love loves it, is one of the true signs of love.

Another idea is to give a gift certificate for a "night out with the girls or boys" without recrimination or recompense (and of course, without whining).  This tells your partner that you care about them and really want to make them happy.  Even though you do lots of things together, you don't have to do everything together.
Ps. This is the perfect gift to yourself to maintain a loving relationship ==>>>